I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
