; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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