who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
