thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
