Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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