shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
