I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
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Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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