i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Houston, we have a squirter
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
