May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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