I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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