you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize