Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So much rum. So many feels.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
