it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
