Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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