She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
