wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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