I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
