Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize