i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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