Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
