I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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