Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
