a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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