Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
