I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize