I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
COCAINE IS GR8
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
