i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
