i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
