Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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