At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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