We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
