even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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