Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
