Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cockslap morals
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
