I just saw a hot homeless man
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize