Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
God I need to hump something, right now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
