no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Holy shit dude........stairs
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