I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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