i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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