im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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