you're like a bully in the Christmas story
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So vagazzling was a success
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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