i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
