i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How does one acquire holy water?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
