Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
