New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
where are my eyebrows?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
