Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
