I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
