We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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