i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
porn star boner night. come get it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
