well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Your penis caused this!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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