Only a mothe r could love this liver
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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