she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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