I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
