its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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