my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
