Say something about gay babies.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize