Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
