Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
