Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
