The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
