I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
